This post is in response to my lovely Polish friend’s question to me this week ‘how can I mend my broken heart Katy, I think I will never love again - he meant everything to me.’ I wrote her, Oli, two A4 pages of things that she could do to help alleviate the deep and dark feelings she has right now and I thought I would share my thoughts with you all. ‘Time is the great healer’ – it’s such a cliche but unfortunately so true!!! If you have anything to add please do! x x x
How to mend your broken heart start sewing it up now!!
My thoughts all stem from a recent experience that happened to me last September 2009. My relationship of nearly 6 years with the man I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with broke down. It was an absolutely devastating time for both of us. We tried for 9 months to restore the trust and respect but unfortunately early May 2010 we had a car crash from the stress and from then on we both had to have the strength to make the final cut knowing that the universe was trying to tell us something.
For whatever reason our feelings for each other had changed. My body no longer wanted to be with someone who had shared his with someone else – people please do not cheat on your partners – it leaves unbearable scars and breaks the sacred bond between you both – please have the grace to leave with dignity. However the mind is a difficult thing to control and mine has been somersaulting with various thoughts and suggestions. So in order to help myself I started to do various things that I am now going to share with you….
how to mend a broken heart…. – hope my thoughts can help you in some way know that I love you x x x kc
> VALIDATE YOUR FEELINGS : first of all get a journal and write every emotion and thought and feeling down as thoughts are things and you need to validate that yours have a currency and are worth something – in fact when you get through it you be reminded of where your head was.
> THIS IS YOUR TIME AND ENJOY YOURSELF- Time is precious – Visit Friends, Take time out and LAUGH LAUGH LAUGH!
> TALK TO AND GO OUT WITH FRIENDS; your friends are a great asset have great times out with them…
> HAVE SPACE TO THINK ON YOUR OWN
> GET HELP : from people who are neutral about the situation -reflexology with the lovely JoJo helped me here in London Town – she’s in Kings Cross here’s her email address jojobaile@googlemail.com. It really helped me to shift some energy
> REMEMBER ALL THE GOOD TIMES YOU HAD WITH YOUR EX : and write them down. Acknowledge and thank your ex and remember why you went out together for whatever length of time you did. Wish your ex well on their new journey and ask that the universe will keep them safe from harm.
> REMEMBER WHY YOU HAD TO LEAVE THE RELATIONSHIP : write down all the things that hurt you and why you had to leave your ex.
> BEING SINGLE : You are single now write down all the things that you would like to do your dreams and why it is so great to be single
> FOLLOW YOUR HEART This is a great time for reevaluation , reassessment so utilise your strengths and follow your heart then you you will be put back on your own true path again
> WRITE DOWN ALL YOUR LIFE’S AMBITIONS – all the dreams you want to do in your life – when you are 80 years old what would you have liked to have achieved and how you would like to be remembered
> EXPLORE ADVENTURE : Discover new people new places – a change is as good as a rest even though it can be very hard
> GO WITH YOUR BODY : cry, shout, sweat, hate, loath, if you have to at the beginning – you need to free yourself of your dark feelings – only then will you literally be able to see the light. If another person was involved it’s ok to feel dark feelings towards them too – let’s face it if they knew they were stepping on your territory then they deserve it! In my case the Miss. Haw [in fact it's Miss Shaw but I like to remove the S] who after knowing both myself and my partner for nearly three years was inspired to become involved in this love triangle. At the beginning I really hated her and I imagined doing obscenities to her like pushing her face down the toilet and weeing on it or dumping her head first into a dirty London trash bin closing the lid and throwing a couple of rats in for good measure. For what woman would put another woman through this pain? I knew I wouldn’t and couldn’t as I have far too much respect for myself and for other women’s relationships no matter what state they are in. Luckily I did nothing to Miss. Haw and bit my tongue even when she laughed straight into my face and looked down at me and made me feel like I had no control and couldn’t keep hold of my man. My response was to just walk away and ignore her. I am so grateful and glad that I reacted this way now. The person who really deserved to be slapped was my ex for wanting his cake and eating it – wanting 2 girlfriends – which was unacceptable to my relationship rules and thus leads me to the next point
> THANK THE UNIVERSE FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP BREAKUP : for now you can be free to pursue your own path again. However painful the reason you break up and regardless of the fact that you are single now, or in later time get back together with your ex again or find a new love thank the universe for making your life less complicated. This is a special time for you and there is beauty through the sadness – my friend Els said that to me and even though I wanted to shout at her at the time for saying what I thought was absurd – i truly appreciate the sentiment now. It is a special time and one to be filled with adoration and respect for yourself….
> TIME HEALS - as my Thai step mum said ‘You are walking over a wobbly bridge right now but in time you will be on stable ground. Look after yourself I understand everything’ – be assured that you are truly loved by the universe and your friends. Go to people who you love and who love you and appreciate you for who you are and not who yo are with. If you have no friends make some – go to wherever you have to go to get conversation, call The Samaritans tel 020 7734 2800 they are a great and free counselling service even go to your local library and start talking and be kind to everyone. Go to an adult education course, smile at everyone and wish them a good day. The more you smile the more you will be released.
> REMEMBER YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL and treat yourself to new things like new towels, linen, clothes, boots – break up boots are simply the best I think i have about 4 pairs of sh** kickin boots now – listen to the Nancy Sinatra Song These boots are made for walking!!
>
You keep saying you’ve got something for me.
something you call love, but confess.
You’ve been messin’ where you shouldn’t have been a messin’
and now someone else is gettin’ all your best.
These boots are made for walking, and that’s just what they’ll do
one of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you.
You keep lying, when you oughta be truthin’
and you keep losin’ when you oughta not bet.
You keep samin’ when you oughta be changin’.
Now what’s right is right, but you ain’t been right yet.
These boots are made for walking, and that’s just what they’ll do
one of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you.
You keep playin’ where you shouldn’t be playin
and you keep thinkin’ that you´ll never get burnt.
Ha! I just found me a brand new box of matches yeah
and what he know you ain’t HAD time to learn.
Are you ready boots? Start walkin’!
IF YOU THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE EMAIL ME AND i WILL ADD IT – INFO AT KATYCARR DOT COM X X X
Tags: mend a broken heart love katy carr relationship break up single
